The Stories Of A Weekend's Day in Crew, and other human-made Disasters

I hate books that start with titles like that. Whatever. It's business time.

If you're just joining us me, then you won't know that I have what is called BRAVO Crew. This is the 'crew' of a theater 'workshop' at my school.

I had to go build and paint yesterday (Saturday), and I brought back a lot of stories.

First of all, I started talking about AVPM with a bunch of other people on my 'team', then we moved on to how the slogan 'Lick or Be Licked' is.

Oreo's sayings are of course followed by a string of dead baby jokes...

The snack that smiles back...BABIES.

How many babies do you need to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them.

What's the difference between a Cadillac and a dead baby? There's no Cadillac in my garage.

Writing in bold makes me feel important.

Me and some guy got on the 'headset' during rehearsals, and nearly got in trouble for it too, until some other guys tried to talk into it as well, and got yelled at.

But now comes the highlight of my day and probably my week.

In the play we're working on, called Pirates of Penzance, a statue of a man is needed. We couldn't carve a stick person out of Styrofoam, that wouldn't be right. But we weren't exactly the best at free-drawing, so that was out too.
We eventually came down to two options, and both involved an 8th grader that had a creepy interest in me.

Our first idea was to dump paper-mache all over his body and feed him with a tube until the show was over, but our teacher thought that it was too dangerous and hurtful, so that was thrown out our virtual window.

The next was brought on by a random brilliance in the 5 or so of us.

We broke into the costume room and got out some sunshine yellow sweatpants, and told the 8th grader, Alex, to put them over his skinny jeans.
We then got him a black sweater about 2 sizes too small, and told him to just wear that, since he wouldn't be able to fit it over his shirt.
A stretched out hat with one eyehole was for his whole face, to make it a smooth surface.

Once he was ready, we instructed him to lay down on the bench in the 'Scene Shop' while we fetched two rolls of duct tape. I promptly taped his feet together, no chance of escape.
We got Jei's ok, and started to duct tape half of his body.
Alex had no idea what we had planned, but we told him to relax. Jei helped us with the taping, all the while the high-school spotlight director, Charlie, made a table five feet away.
After about an hour of work and help from one of the actors, we were satisfied.
'Charlie! Come here! We need your help!'

Charlie came over, and his eyes nearly popped. 'WHEN DID YOU DO THAT?'
'We've been working on this for nearly one and a half hours while you made a table.'
'Oh.'
We told Charlie to help lift duct-taped Alex up on to his feet.
Alex couldn't even talk or stand alone, so Charlie stood behind him and held him upright while I went to go and get the director.
'Ms. R, we have a surprise for you. We can't bring it out.'
She followed me into the room, and saw exactly what I saw, a teenager covered half in duct tape dressed like a bumblebee.

'Wow! This is awesome! It should be in the yearbook!'

After a lot of pictures, we realized we'd have to get Alex out of the duct-tape.

Jei took the biggest scissors she could find, and started to cut the hat, along with some of Alex's hair, off.
I went to talk to the guy through the headset a bit more again, and when I came back to the shop, I found a half-naked 8th grader parading around, waving pink Styrofoam pieces into the air.
I stood their in shock, partly because he was heading toward me, and partly because another guy called Tyler had come in with the recycling bin, screaming 'I'VE GOT THE MATH! I'VE GOT IT!'

We stuffed Alex's cocoon with math homework, and made a pretty decent looking person.

I'm still happy.

Brown Duck Fucks At Haunted Houses In Midsummer

If you read the title, you'll know what this post is about. So let's go :D

Brown.
This is probably one of the worst inside jokes ever. Me and AJ were sitting in the front of a laundromat, looking like hobos. AJ was showing off her new highlighters to me.
She switched all of the caps around, so that green had a yellow cap, and orange had a green one, etc.
She was giving me somewhat of a retard test, and I was failing because I'm always SO TIRED when I walk home from school.

So she points to pink. "What's this color?" "...Brown." And I start laughing so hard that I can't stand up. I try to, but keep laughing, falling back into a squating position that looks like a retarded dog taking a crap, and say 'Brown.' again, laughing harder.
At this point, a guy in a suit walked in and thought I was taking a brown. So I stood up.

Next topic!

Duck Fucks =D As you know, this is an exciting topic.

It's a poem. A limerick poem. Enjoy.

There once was a sad little duck,
With the deep want, almost urge, to fuck.
Then our friend Ted,
Sadly just said,
'Guess I'll have to hire a shmuck.'

So then the sad little duck,
Still implanted with the urge to fuck,
His friend said,
'You know what Ted?
I think that I'm also a duck...'

'Implanted with that urge to fuck.
So don't run yourself over with a truck.'
With that said,
They skipped off to bed,
Oh yes, they were in quite good luck.

So now bouth Ted and Jerry
Went off they were merry
Butts loaded with kids
You ask how they did?
The truth, those kids were quite hairy.

I know what you're thinking, Barry.
That in truth, your aunt is quite scary.
But my dear sweetie,
You're in for a treatie,
The truth is quite the contrary.

Because my dear cousin Barry,
The kids, yes hairy,
But the truth,
Now you don't need a sleuth,
Is that I'm the mother of that same Jerry.

THE END.

Haunted houses!
AJ was a little innocent girl at a haunted house tour, which was so scary.
Not the tour, her. Haha. I'm dodging that 'kill'.
Either way, it was amazing. She had a week to memorize 3 minutes of speech and...with much me as audience she did. It was really great.

The makeup made her look like she'd been punched, but otherwise, it was great. The dress was...puffy at the lady parts (har har) so they had to fix that and put bows in her hair. That added to the innocent look.

But a little more in depth on the tour. There was a little booklet with about 3 sentences of info about the 5 houses you went to. There were I'd say about 25 people on each tour (I was tour G).

What happened was that there were people set around the city, pointing out which way to go. Then you'd meet a person at the steps of the house, who tell you as much info as they knew about the ghost living in the home.
Then, they'd step aside, and a person dressed as the ghost would come in, and say somethings about the expiriences from the ghost point of view.

It was so cool. <3

Last part of the post! I promise!

I went to Midsummer Night's Dream, as you know.

But today, I got my boots on at the end of school inside, which took quite awhile, so Kat and AJ were crowded along my locker bay.
I started to tell the story of some ID mix-up or something or another, and this guy comes up to me, taller than me, quite...large and blond, his face red and goes "I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH WHAT YOU'RE SAYING! ABSOLUTLY!"
All of us look at him and he smiles. "You know I was talking about class, right?" I say.
"Uhh...yeah. But I still agree! =D"
"Wait a second...Aren't you the guy from BRAVO? Midsummer Night's Dream?" Me and AJ say at once.
"Yeah. =D"
Since I can't just say "OH, YEAH, YOU'RE THE ASSHEAD!" I beam and nod.
"Well, I have to go. See ya!" He walks toward the exit we exit through.
"Not bye! We're going the same way! Unofficial stalkers!" I wave with my armful of shoe and violin.
"Uhh...I can just go this way!" He walks toward the other exit.
"We can too!" Me and AJ say, while Kat laughs.
"Ok, sure, um, k, bye, hai! =D"

The end. Bai bai

McDougal Littell Middle School MATH Course 2

I am actually studying the math book I'll be using next year, hence the title. Yeah, I have no life.
But that's not what the rest of this post is about...

What it is about is what I doodled on myself after I went swimming.
I had found a blue eraseable pen and, after eating a 'medium' from Ben and Jerry's, it seemed like a good idea to draw/write whatever came to mind.
And now I BLOG IT. Here goes.

Pictures On Left Arm:
The Back of A Tiger's Head
A Vampire Smiley
A '=D' Smiley
A '=P' Smiley
A '=3' Smiley
A '=S' Smiley
A Bear Paw
A Howling Wolf Head
An Elm Leaf
An Arrow Pointing Right
A Smudge

Writing on Left Arm:
'WALMART VS TARGE (smudge) T'
'Road Trip Wolf Girl'
'Buggy'
'Drawings'
'Hey'
'Hi!'
'MWA HA HA HA!'

Other Junk On Left Arm:
Left Hand Is Traced

Drawings on Right Leg:
A Fat Rabbit with Whiskers and This Face: ^-^
A Creepy Smiley with a Head
A Smudge

Writing on Right Leg:
'Weathe organs of cute little bunnies.'
'Sorry guys, I'm single.'


Done. Now two of my body parts are a piece of history.

Peace out.

Art/Creation Post

Oh meh gawd, this is going to be a fail art post. Have fun. It's an exibit, really.

Read her description. This is my pet mouse, who died. Read more about her. ♥ I love her ^^

This is an anthro of Cosmo the cat. She is supposed to be beautiful. I fail at beautiful. She's supposed to be love-struck. I fail at that too. She's an actual cat for a story of mine.

Janeelia, a rat fursona. Read her junk. I was bored, so I made her. I know the story sucks.

This is Poppyseed. She is a kitten at the moment, and a house cat. She is Whisper and Wind's kit, and has a brother and a sister, Spiral and Caramel.

Whisper. I don't know if you've already seen her, but here she is again. She is a mother now. She used to be deputy of an ally, but now she's a housecat along with Wind and her 3 kits.

I'll try and make one of these posts at least every month, if not every two weeks.

Campbell's...Mmm, mmm, good, POSSIBLITIES!

Actually, I've never had Campbell's Soup. I think I ate a Kampbell's Kids! Chicken and Noodle Puke Soup! once when I was little, but other than that, no. MOVING ON.

I really am not in a great bright sunny mood. Though I'm going to AJ's BRAVO show. That'll be fun.

I also want to talk a bit with myself, so here goes nothing.

me: hello, how am I?

me: I is good, how are me?

Hahaha, fail. That's not gonna happen. I want to post something, fill this post up with something worth reading. Other than my endless complaints.

I need a conscience and a life for a good price.

Meet Larkpaw everybody! =D She's made by me, trained by Cloudchaser ^-^

Had fun meeting her? Hope so. Was that pitiful? Thought so. Comment more, people who read my blog. Comment away. I want your opinion on junk I write.

Poem Corner Central! =D

I look out the window with angry red eyes.

I sit down and I eat an orange, think about my life for once..

I smell the yellow sunflower that I never got from the one I loved.

I hear the forest green trees whisper to me in the wind.

I lay down on my bed of blue snowflakes.

I find a bit of broken purple glass at my feet.

And then I realize.

I'm just a lonely rainbow,

Colored all the colors of desire.

Was that deep? XP

Sorry for not blogging!

AHHH...sorry that I was gone forever. But now I'm here, and I have a few bits of news. You'll like this, I promise. (Fine maybe not all of it.)

On Monday, we dissected sheep hearts. Now, this was utterly disgusting. Why? I have a few reasons:
It was gray! And white! Not the wonderful crimson, blood red, but gray! This was why it never crossed my mind to touch it.
It smelled (smelt?) nothing like fresh blood! In fact, not like blood at all! It smelled like peppermint, 2 week old steak, and Latex gloves all mixed together.
It was stone hard! Not warm and squishy or anything!

So you should be able to understand the horrible experience.

Then, today, I got 'killed' in class.
My teacher's Shakespeare group was preforming Julius Caesar (me being Julius Caesar), and, of course, I got 'stabbed' to death.
I said a dramatic line, "Et tu, Brute? Then fall Caesar!" and I 'died' sideways. I got a bit more comfortable on the tile floor, cold and all, and trying to appear dead.
This was hard, of course, for I am the tallest in my class, and I'm not used to being on the floor, staring at people's feet.
So I was there, staring at 'Antony's' feet, when a girl from the audience ran forward, threw a red blanket over me, and ran offstage. I sighed, the blanket was a feathered one, and I completely loved it. I closed my eyes, actually took a quick nap right there on the stage.
I woke up to my teacher announcing "And the Commoners of Rome leave. They do not drag Caesar off stage. The corpse can get up and walk off."

The next bit of news...
My dad's car got towed. In the morning at 5 am. I screamed when I found out that I had to walk to school, but I did it anyway.

Some more, absolutely horrible news...
There is a complete stranger coming into my house. For 6 days! And he's staying, where else, in my room! Bleh bleh bleh.

Over Accessorized Air Element Girl:

Pretty Fire Element Girl:

Audra's Earth Girl, because other got deleted:

Water Model, also Girl From my Dream:

Those were the Elemental Models. Nope, yah can't have them. They are mine! (By "Audra's Earth Girl," I mean that she requested it, not made it.)

Audra's White Kitten:

Earth Girl's Green Kitten:

Those are the cats/kittens I make. Same as above, Audra requested them, so only she can use them. :)

The editor is messed up right now, so that's why everything is centered. Sorry, sorry.

But I think you liked this issue, right? =3