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looking back on the posts on this blog is simultaneously the most humbling and embarrassing experience in the world for me

WOAH! WHAT THE EFF IS UP?

Oh, holy CRAP!
What is going on you guys?
Homie g's...Skillet...Dawg...
Yeah

You thought this blog was dead huh? I don't blame you. But the true question is...will it blend? is it really dead? NOPE! Chuck Testa!

I'm progressively more random, so the reason this is all broken up is because it's like my brain. What do vegetarian zombies say? GRAAAINS. Lolwut? What do vampire zombies say? VEINSSS. Seriously, shut up. What do movie zombies say? RUN, IT'S ABRAHAM LINCOLN!


*cough cough* I'm sick cause some kid coughed on me for an hour straight.
I'm high on life too.

SET GOALS TO TALK ABOUT, GO! 1. School so far. 2. UhhuhhuhhDISEASES! RIGHT! 3. Coconut water 4. Hamburgers 5. Books 5a. Book characters irl

1~School. I'm not sure if I like moving up grade after grade. It's becoming sort of a death sentence. But we'll see. On the other hand, I watched my Social Studies teacher try to breakdance in front of my locker bay.
Also, a lot of people seem to die. Over the past 2 months, I've heard of 4 deaths. Like, guys. Stop this. You're beautiful or handsome either way. You know about threesomes and foursomes...I get why they call you handsome! Oh my god, shut up mind. Okay! Section 2, nya!

2~Aj is convinced I have schizophrenia. I don't, guys. To prove that, I'm gonna take a test...
Later on: Uhhhhh...Um...I took a test, and on a scale of 0 to 14+, with 0 being no symptoms and 14+ being definitely yes, I got a...Umm...10? T____T BE QUIET. I'M JUST SPECIAL.

3~Coconut water. I saved this draft after finishing section 2, so I have no clue why I put that there. I think it was because on the side of it, it says 'More potassium than two bananas! Don't tell the monkeys!'
Now I'm thirsty. And sick. Meh.

4~WHY DID I CHOOSE THIS, AHH? I bet the second I post this thing, I'll remember. For now, I'm going to say that hamburgers are awesome.
Have you ever thought about who invented the hotdog? Not so much the hotdog, but the shape? Like, "I'm gonna make a new meat." "Oh boy!" "It's gonna be sort of like a ovalish type thing, like a tube almost." "Hmm. To put in sandwiches?" "Sort of. But I was thinking we should make this rectangle bread that tastes like garbage." "Oh, I see...Well, what should we make it out of?" "Meat. All sorts of options. Just meat." "Err...kay. How about a name? Thought of one yet?" "HOT DOG! THEY'LL NEVER DOUBT THE MEAT AGAIN!"
How about meatballs? We're going to take all of the leftovers from our hotdogs and hamburgers and stuff, and put it into one blob. Bam. What should we call it sir? It's just a ball of meat. THAT'S IT! MEATBALL!

5~Books I have been reading! If you want to live a normal lifestyle, go ahead and read these! First of all, so much manga. I've gotten into Fullmetal Alchemist, Ouran High School Host Club, and re-gotten into Fruits Basket.
Also, there's a book called Divergent that's absolutely LOVELY. It's sort of like taking Hunger Games and Harry Potter, combine them to have a child, make it into a test-tube baby, then inject it with something secret and special. I loved it. Also, the author lives here in Chicago! Crazy. Thank you, Kat for recommending.
Last but not least, a book I'm sure you've never heard of *hipster cough, jk*, The Fault In Our Stars! Woaaaaah. It's SO good! I can't recommend it enough. I got it on hold at the library about 3 months before it came out and have a 'Hanklerfish' in my own copy. Go read it now!

5a~Book characters irl, which might be changed to 'media characters irl' if I get off topic.
Okay. So TFIOS is an awesome book. (I won't spoil it, no worries)
The main beautiful male character is called Augustus Waters. I will not get into how mind-boggling hot this boy is, because your computer might explode at that would be 'bad.' Just imagine a really hot boy. Then he has a friend who's half-blind and has awesome blond 'emo' hair and wears thick glasses called Isaac. People might disagree, but I find him undeniably attractive too.
The point is, I went to school like normal, and I was going to homeroom. I have homeroom in this thing called the 'Home Ec' room, which is where we cook/sew/bake/do stuff.
I go in, and this boy from the period before is stretching out something that looks vaguely like bread and jello mixed together. It's all over his hands.
I put my elbows on the counter, all 'What are you making?' 'Pizza crust.' He looks up at me, and I nearly flip out, because holy mother of turds, he looks EXACTLY like Augustus Waters and Isaac put together!
This has happened before a lot to me, like how AJ's brother's friend looks like Harry Potter.


Did I finish this post in 2 days? Yes! Girl power, nya!
Whew. That took a while.
Yay.

I Have No Clue What To Say

I'M SORRY. I STILL LOVE YOU.
Yes. I still love you. You've changed so much...But I'm sure we can get used to one another.
Oh, it's been so long.
You never call...
-End Blogger Love Letter-

Ok, number one, what the hell happened to Blogger? Everything looks new. That's not right.

Well, yeah. I didn't write/blog since the beginning of summer vacation (or earlier)...and now vacation will be over. In 6 days. Damn.

I do love you guys. I can't believe that in the last few days, my blog still got views. I mean really? This blog hasn't had an update for months, but people come to see if maybe, just maybe, I posted. I love you guys.

Anyway.

I went to Washington DC. I'm not going to write about how I walk to the monuments or anything, because everyone knows about monuments.

Let's write about something else.

First of all, there are a lot of gingers in DC, which isn't a problem. I saw a boy that looked 100% like Ron Weasley. So on my phone, I made a Weasley counter. Yes, I counted how many of the Weasleys I saw.
The number was frighteningly large.

I would also like to say that the number of...muy attractive guys is high in DC as well. If you are a guy reading this, and you are from Washington DC...You are probably cute. Thank you.

I also went to Chinchoytguoaevyuhgue Island, which was awesome. I would like to compliement the 'Pony Tracks' ice cream there.

I went to Harper's Ferry. Their frozen custard is amazing. The guards are quite recommendable as well.

Now that you know the highlight of my summer, let's blab about how I got my schedule yesterday.
I got my schedule yesterday. It's quite nice. Though I'm sure that they messed it up.

For fear of someone finding out who I am, I will not say the teachers' names. Just subjects. Here goes.
Science, Social Studies, Langague Arts, Lunch, Gym, Math, French, Spanish.
Yes, I'm taking both French and Spanish.

I know that this will result in me walking into Spanish class one day and screaming 'BONJOUR!' Hopefully this won't happen.

I also went to the Taylor Swift Concert in my area (TWSS) and it was great. I got bracelets for my girls Kat and AJ.

Speaking of me as usual, I was informed that my profile says something about a moist waffle? I have no clue how that got there. Anyway, feel free to check that out.

I hope you got your fix of my writing for now. Sorry in advance if I die again.

Wow Guys...I'm Sorry

I abandoned you. No, it's not your fault. Really.

I mean, I just never got around to blogging. I give you a brief recap.

I held a tarantula in my hand. I saw a beaver getting cut in half. I got four virtual double chins. I went through a whole production of the Wiz. I learned how to play a bunch of awesome songs on the piano. My piano teacher moved. I crewed for four concerts. And I got asked out twice. By the same guy.

Tarantula & Beaver: Field Museum Behind The Scenes Member Night. Sooperdooper cool. Went with AJ, who was my sister for that day.
Double Chins: From my trip to the Science and Industry Museum. Went with Kat, because it was free.
The Wiz: A 'black version of the Wizard of Oz" I love so many of the higher graders now. <3 <3 <3
Piano: virtualpiano.net Should explain it
Teacher Moved: New studio next to a mint green restaurant. Also sooperdooper.
Four Concerts: Band, Orchestra, Elementary, and Chorus. Loved all of them. Got ice cream.
Mr. Romeo: Don't know him very well (read as: I know his name and his face. That's all). One grade above me. Asked me twice with an interval of 5 minutes between, but neither suceeded.

I'm thinking about making a new blog! Don't get all excited now...Just a possiblity ;D

Wow. I'm An Idiot

I just went back and discovered that about half of my last post was the same as the post before it.

PARDON ME D:

Who Cares Baby, I Think I Wanna Marry You

Wow. I want to marry you too Bruno Mars, c'mhere honey <3

Nah. ChrisTOFU Drew is my man of the day. But that's not what I'm going to talk about today.

First of all, I'm sorry that I only update this blog once a month, but hey, less is more.

Agenda for today:

1. I got asked out
2. Tubas
3. Oddfish
4. ChrisTofu
5. Guitar
6. Europe
7. Taylor Swift

NUMBER ONE: I GOT ASKED OUT
I said no.

The story starts with me, AJ, and Kat walking out of school, normal day, ho-hum.
Then there's a group of Graders (whenever I say 'Graders,' I mean people above my own grade. So yeah).

Anyway, a group of Graders are sitting on someone's lawn, and I try not to trip as I walk over them. About 5 of them either wolf-whistle or scream 'HI JEN. <3'
I just nod and smile like a moviestar, trying to get through the male clump, and a guy screams 'WANNA SEE A MOVIE?'
I keep walking. 'WANNA SEE A MOVIE ON FRIDAY WITH ME?' They keep screaming, I turn around and I see this Grader (one that called me sexy on FaceBook, but that's another story), jumping and waving his arms.

I naturally think of good things to say now, such as: 'I rather stick shards of glass up my ass.' or maybe flipping them off behind my back with the lollipop I was eating.

Either way, I'm not sure if they'll be there tomorrow. If they are, I'll be ready.

NUMBER TWO...TUBAS
I was at my locker before Number One, above, took place, and AJ was just singing this 'BOM BOM BOM BOM' song into my ears, so that they still ring.
Either way, I was just standing there, and she goes:

I would love to be paid to follow around a fat person with a tuba.

I'm happy to admit that I went into hysterical laughter after that. Love love.

NUMBER THREE...ODDFISH

We had literacy week at my school. They got some author guy to come, and read some of his book to us. We thought it'd be lame. Well...

I took notes on it, and it was actually pretty good. I mean, apology guns, and litterboxes, and eyeballs, and beer, and underwear made of leather, and tranksters, and stuff.

What's not to love? Order Of Oddfish. Click MEH

NUMBER FOUR...CHRISTOFU

I have the Drew Flu. Nevershoutnever. They're a band, and I'm thinking of renaming my blog "YourBiggestFan" for awhile. Gimme your opinions on that, please.

Btw, he's super hot in my eyes. Just letting you know.

NUMBER FIVE...GUITAR

I'm trying to teach myself guitar on the iPad. If I already talked about this forgive me.

I gave up on it because the iPad only senses two touches at once, and you need at least three for a normal guitar. So I just play chord by chord now.

NUMBER SIX...EUROPE

Going to Europe over spring break, so you won't see much of me then, not that you normally would, har har. Thought you might want to know, you stalker >D

NUMBER SEVEN...TAYLOR SWIFT

Going to her concert on August 10, hopefully. So you can stalk me there too :P

BAI NOW, I LOVE YOU.

Another Thing (I'm Too Lazy To Edit)

We were in the library, and the librarian was droning on about Google search terms. I was insanely bored and all, and then she said something I could logic my way out of.

"If you're searching, speak caveman. Don't say 'What causes the lightning?' Say something like 'Cause lightning' Cavemen don't know the word 'what'"

HOW THE HELL DO CAVEMEN KNOW THE WORD 'LIGHTNING'? I didn't know that word 'till the 1st grade.

This is what cavemen say: Ooh, ooh, aaah, wuh, mah.

I'm pretty sure that if I searched that on Google, the Google editors would not be pleased.

That is all <3